What does “honor your parents” mean?
(from the book „The Oceanfrog“) https://pedrodesouzablog.wordpress.com/book-the-oceanfrog-chapter-3-english/
… Take, for instance, the parents you get. Many complain about their parents today. It has become a trend. You sit in a group and tell each other your sad stories: how untalented your mother was and that your father had no idea how to raise children.
Now you are sad and feel bad, because your parents were so “bad.” If you had only had better parents, your life would have been so much better. But as it is, you are disadvantaged in life and frustrated. – But the Bible tells us that we should honor our parents. Not merely to follow some old-fashioned law or because your parents like it, but because it is to your advantage and helps you to be happy! Your parents brought you into the world. Perhaps they have not raised you ideally, but you do not have to concentrate on the negative things. Concentrate on the positive ones.
Christ said you have to view the world as children would, because you create your world according to your imagination and interpretations. The Bible teaches us that it is to your advantage to forgive your parents and honor them. By doing this you free yourself from a blockade. Back then they did not have any experience raising children and were younger than you are now. Your parents did their best and did not know any better. Perhaps you accuse your father of only taking care of the family business and not making time for the kids. Is it bad when he takes care of the business? It depends on your interpretations. If you believe it was a disadvantage then it is so. Because you create your own reality. You only concentrate on complaining and your life is full of complaining. That is the wrong outlook. Of course, there are real complaints, but you can decide if they have a special meaning to you or if the joyful aspect is more important to you.
There is only one true purpose in life – to love. Do not concentrate on your sad stories day and night and then speak about them at seminars. Your experiences are already over. And your parents have not remained the same. They, too, have grown and have other opinions today than they did in the past. Think, rather, on the good things your parents have done for you. Perhaps you have to strain yourself in order to discover the good things, because you have only concentrated on the negative ones up until now.
The love you have experienced is genuine and true. It has a deep and intensive meaning. Everything else is not so important.
But you see the difficulties as more important than the love, and in this way you do not honor your parents. How do you then want to honor your children? A path runs from generation to generation. It is not a one-way street. You cannot love children and not love the parents. You have to go back further on the path: your love for the parents spills over into love for the children. You will then also love the children. Otherwise the path would be cut off. When there is no longer any love, the family breaks up and then society follows. That does not happen only when the parents do not love the children, but also when the children do not love the parents.
If you believe that the wounds from your childhood are genuine and true, then they are. The nego says, “You poor thing! It’s not your fault that you’re so sad. Your parents are to blame. If you had had better parents, then you would’ve been happier.” You blame your parents in order to heal yourself. “They’re responsible for everything,” your nego says. Watch out for your nego and listen to what your posego says, “My parents have given me love so often. I feel entirely fulfilled and thankful.” Honoring your parents means concentrating on their positive deeds.
Do not use your parents as an escape-goat for your problems. They are not responsible for them. Thus, do not let suffering control your life, but rather switch on your positive ego – think loving and wise thoughts and act accordingly.